By Dan Blair, a marriage counselor and family counselor.
Two of the main goals for divorce mediation in unavoidable divorce are to save money and time in a long process, and reduce antagonism and stress that can come from an adversarial process. Two well-attested facts are:
1. Kids are most damaged by the fighting between the parents.
2. The money spent in litigation could be used for more desirable things, and for your kids.
Often litigation is the only option. But if divorce mediation is used, the benefits are worthwhile. Divorce mediation:
- Reduces the negative effects of divorce on children
- Increases satisfaction with the outcome compared to litigation alone
- Reduces the chance of returning to court after divorce
- Reduces costs. Mediation can be used for all or part of a divorce.
- Customizes agreements based on unique situations.
QUICK ANSWERS ABOUT DIVORCE MEDIATION
What does a mediator do?
The goal of mediation is to create a way to communicate and resolve issues that are unresolved. All agreements are finalized without coercion or pressure. The mediator will document agreements in a Memorandum of Understanding that will be reviewed by your lawyer before divorce is finalized in court.
What does a mediator not do?
Both parties will be encouraged to seek advice from attorneys, accountants, counselors, etc. so accurate information is available. The mediator does not act in any of these roles. The mediator also does not break confidentiality unless there is written permission or a legal mandate to do so.
What will we talk about?
Decisions that have to be made in a divorce process include (but are not limited to) parenting, custody, division of assets/liabilities, child and spousal support, insurance, and tax filing. Blair Counseling and Mediation can mediate all or part of a dispute.
Is mediation appropriate for me?
All parties to a dispute must be willing to participate and capable of informed decision-making based on full disclosure of information. Each party must be comfortable disagreeing with another party in the same room and not fear retaliation. Neither party must be subject to domestic violence or threats.